I know, Usually I write blogs about my recent knitting escapades, but knitting and spinning have been a bit slow lately. So, I took this idea from a conversation I had at work tonight about some of the movies we have seen and, well, I decided to just go with it. Some people may disagree with my choices for worst ever movie, but others may find themselves agreeing with me.
Besides, it is only my opinion, you may have movies you thought were WAY worse than these.
So, on with the countdown:
10. BATMAN FOREVER. Seriously, was everyone in this movie just really broke and needed to make a house payment or something? Not only was the acting bad, but the script was just horrible. If this was the final draft, then there are some writers out there that really need to be shot.
9. WILLARD. Don't get me wrong, Chrispin Glover is a great actor, but not even his talents could have saved this flop. This is one remake that really makes me wished they left the classic alone.
8. BORAT. This movie was neither funny or entertaining, it was just another attempt to make something along the same genre as JACKASS. The idea that Americans can be duped into thinking a guy with a really bad accent is really from another country was appalling. It was such a bad movie that I actually felt like I lost I.Q. points when I bought my ticket.
7. Three way tie: STAR WARS EPISODES 1-3. I know that I am going to incur some wrath with this pick, but come on. The first one was ruined by Jar Jar, the second was just completely left field, and the third was so focused around Natalie Portman's character and how much she though that love could save the day, that I wanted her dead by the end of the movie. George Lucas should really not let his kids write his films from now on.
6. HOUSE OF THE DEAD. I love zombie movies and the whole genre, but when I saw this atrocity written and direced by Uwe Boll, I wanted to burn it, pour holy water on the ashes, and then have them blessed. The entire movie was campy on a level that made campy look bad. I am so ashamed to aknowledge that I paid money for this movie that I can't bring myself to sell it to a used record store and get something that is actually good. It was that bad.
5. JAWS, THE REVENGE. First off, sharks do NOT focus revenge on one family in particular, second, how fast can this fish swim? The matriarch leaves her sweet New England town, and flies to the Bahamas to get away, and the shark is already there?????? Do sharks have airline miles, because, well I think Jaws flew First Class there and forgot to fill up on peanuts (oops, they give out pretzels now).
4. THE MUTANT CHRONICLES. This is another movie that just made me question why on Earth I would pay money for it. The really sad part was that I thought it would be good because Ron Perlman was in it.
3. DAY AFTER TOMMOROW. Not only was the theroies this disaster flop baised on completely untrue, but the whole idea of making me feel bad about poluting the planet by constantly having the main character demonizing the entire human race made me want to go blow up a Prius somewhere. Anywhere. Preferably the one driven by the main character.
2. THE BLAIE WITCH PROJECT. If I really wanted to watch three morons argue in the forest for two hours, I would have taken my brothers camping. Nuff said.
1. BATTLEFIELD EARTH. One line in particular really sums up this uber flop: "Man animals can't fly!" After that it all went downhill from there. Anyone with half a brain would have found the plot holes that were so huge, a semi truck pulling doubles (trucker term) could have been driven through them. For one, how do firearms and jet planes that have been supposively buried for thousand of years still operate and look as if they were manufactured yesterday? If the aliens were such an advanced race, why don't they change the atmosphere of Earth to mimic their own planet? Finally, how do the gold bricks in Fort Knox still look like they were forged yesterday? The world may never know.
So there is my opinion, take it or leave it. Just really read plot lines before seeing any film that is promoted everytime you turn around. You may be dissappointed.
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